Saturdays are a sort of non event in real world terms, it’s football day and I become totally immersed in statistics, live scores, live tables and updates. I suppose it’s an obsession really but I don’t give a monkeys, I tend to have a computer logged into 3 or 4 different sites and I switch from one to the other whilst watching sky sports.

If my team gets beat then I completely switch off from the event and pretend it never happened, my team is not the best in the world so it is a regular occurrence, the switching off I mean. When we win I usually go down the local to celebrate with a smug content feeling, a bit like having sex I suppose. I think I am a sad b**stard really.